Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Blood from the Sun

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Don’t tell me that you couldn’t see the signs.

Why do I feel like this isn’t being taken seriously? Why? Because you aren’t taking this seriously. You aren’t, are you? You don’t understand what will happen. It is going to happen. It is.

My mind is seething with absolute fury. Arms and legs tense as I stand there, not responding to simple, direct commands: relax; breath. My vision is clouded with a succulent red, blooming like a flower whilst I glare into the sun. And when my eyes draw themselves away, the blindness caused from staring into bright light turns the colour dark, deepening with every second until it resembles quite comparatively the salty colour of blood. My gaze shifts again. There, on the ground, splashed beneath my knelt body. I frown, try to feel the pain that should have been wrapping itself around my mind and twisting my limbs. No pain. A lift of my head, and there I see it.

I had done it. Oh god, I had done it.


[I can assure you I have no murderous thoughts. I have no idea where that actually came from. I just wrote it down while waiting for some videos to load.]

6 comments:

Richard said...

It came from somewhere! and it was excellent! There was one small grammatically disconnected bit - it seems to me anyway
"There, on the ground splashed beneath my knelt body. I frown ...
should there be a it was or it lay at the end of the first sentence?
Also not sure of 'knelt' which is past tense in a first person present tense account. but otherwise as I said excellent

Ma'ña Bräu Jedi Warrior said...

very cool :)

Anonymous said...

you need to get laid

Liv =] said...

Richard,
That part where i say "there on the ground..." is when the person looks down and sees blood. kind of "oh look, there is something on the ground: it's blood." I could probably add another comma after 'ground' i didn't check it over properly.

thanks for the feedback =]

Richard said...

Saw your tweet about the dress, How very interesting.
would you have said yes if your mum had not been there ;) ?

Richard said...

you victorians get very emotional over a test ...